Planning a wedding is a rather public event. Suddenly relatives and friends you haven’t heard from in years creep out and ask the same questions.
Here’s how you should handle them with grace.
Onto the Questions…
”Are You Sure You Want to Marry Him/Her?”
Neither me nor my fiancé have been asked this but I’m sure there are some couples out there who have. Having doubt from the start only proves that they do not support you. On the one hand it’s such a rude and personal question – you don’t need to justify your partner to them in a response.
But on the other hand if someone shows genuine concern (perhaps they don’t know them or have their facts wrong) then sit them down and tell them about why you’ve picked this person to spend your life with.
”Can I Be Bridesmaid?”
I had clear ideas for who I wanted to be for my bridesmaids and they’re people I know will fight to the death to make sure we have an amazing day. They’re people who will take a week off work, if asked, and sit in my living room to make 50 table decorations – if that’s what was needed.
There are many friends I like a lot and hold their friendship dear but I didn’t ask them as the burden would be unfair. If someone asks you to be your bridesmaid then thank them a lot and say that you’re expecting an over the top amount of effort and time from your bridesmaids and wouldn’t want to put that on them. It’s worked for me so far!
”’Mr and Mrs Random’ Are Coming right?”
This is often followed by ‘because I’ve already let them know’. If they are a person who is contributing it can feel a burden to invite who they want. If you’re quite laid back and you know that a few extra people won’t make any difference to your budget then it’s worth agreeing for the peace.
But the way to answer this question is to make it clear upfront that you’re on a budget and if they want to help then that’s great but that doesn’t mean they get to dictate. It can be an awkward conversation to have but worth getting out the way upfront.
”It’s Okay To Wear this White Dress Yeah?”
There are some people that are so engrossed in themselves alone that they believe they’re above respecting others because that’s ”just who they are”. Thankfully I don’t we have anyone like that on our invite list but if you’re worried you do, just make a light hearted retort about what would happen if they wore white.
Then seriously tell them they’ll be asked to keep their coat on or not be let in should they wear white. If they laugh at that tell them you’ll buy a £5 oversized dress to give to whoever turns up in white. If they laugh at that, tell them they’re not invited if they can’t respect the bride.
”So When Are You Going to Have Babies?”
And to end is the wonderfully awkward question that every bride or groom will get as the wedding approaches. Remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation into your decision to have or not to have children but if it’s persistent you can follow 1 of 2 paths.
The passive aggressive response is to ask for their email so you can keep them informed when you’re ovulating and how many times per week you’re trying. And the boring but adult response is to say that part of what you’ve discussed with your future spouse is keeping your private life private and you’ll announce if theres a need to when the time is right.
Have you experienced any of these questions? Anything worse than these? Leave a comment below and follow my wedding journey here.